Sometimes someone will tell me something like “My ex girlfriend hates me, how can I get her back when she really hates my guts?” It’s not uncommon for a lot of ex’s to really hate their old partner after a break up. After all resentment is one of the biggest reasons why people break up. I’d be willing to bed that the resentment reached a boiling point before the break up (didn’t it?).
First, of all, don’t feel bad, my ex girlfriend hates me too!
In fact, she hated me after each of the times we broke up.
But does that mean that you can’t get back together with ex girlfriend if she hates you?
Like I said before, it’s not uncommon for a lot of women (or anyone for that matter) to really hate their ex after a break up.
Over time, those resentments build and before you know it she starts to blame you for all the problems she’s going through.
Dr. John Gottman from the University of Washington (my alma mater–go huskies!) did a study where he identified that the number one predictor of whether or not a couple will break up or stay together is resentment.
It’s your fault she never goes out anymore. It’s your fault that she’s grumpy all the time. And it’s your fault that she’s wasting her life.
Ouch! That stings, huh?
It might hurt, but trust me that, these feelings toward you will probably pass with a little time (unless you really did something wrong, like killed her cat or something…).
So, if you want to know how to get your ex girlfriend back, take some time off and just give her some space to cool off. She’s probably pissed off, but that will pass with some time.