I’ve been there myself. Those days when it all just seems so dark and hopeless after a break up. You just feel so completely powerless over your situation. You miss your ex girlfriend so much and it seems like your entire happiness is in her hands and completely out of your control.

Here are a few questions I get from guys going through the “dark night of the soul” after a break up.

Q: I miss my ex girlfriend so much, what can I do to make the pain go away?

A: I know what it’s like to sit at home on a Friday night by yourself feeling lousy and wanting nothing more than to just have her back in your arms. It hurts. It really does.

So, know that what I’m saying here is from personal experience.

If you want to feel better about yourself, you need to stop looking outside of yourself for your happiness and start finding happiness that comes from within. This might sound like some feel-good nonsense, but you have to understand that as long as you define happiness by something outside of you, you surrender control of your life to that other thing (in this case, your ex girlfriend).

If instead, you can find joy in your own life and in the positive things that you do have going for you. Focus on what you are grateful for and the good things in your life like your friends, your job (those are pretty rare these days), or your health.

Q: Is there anything I can do to get her back? I miss my ex girlfriend so much and I just want her to love me again.

A: Yeah, I wrote a guide on how to get your ex girlfriend back. It really lays out the basic steps to get started.

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