fight with boyfriend

Did you have another fight with your boyfriend?

Is it something shallow that can be resolved logically or something deep like if you caught him with another woman?

What do you do from here and how do you move forward?

Here are a few tips to help after a big fight with your boyfriend:

First:

The first thing to do is to differentiate what kind of fight you guys have.

If it something that can be resolved quickly like if he was late again for your date, then you need to understand his reason why he was late, but if it’s something deeper like he cheated on you (here are some signs…) or he stole money from you then you need to seriously consider if you should stay in this relationship.

Getting into a fight with your boyfriend is normal. Both of you have different personality and sometimes you tend to disagree on some things so it’s okay if you guys fight from time to time.

On the other hand, if he is physically hurting you as well as mentally, like making you do something you don’t want to do, then it’s time to end the relationship. He may have some issues that even you can’t fix.

Besides, if he is hurting you, you are not helping him to be better if you tried to make the relationship work without him making real, lasting changes himself.

Start by rating the fight on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being something stupid, like fighting over who has more blankets in bed. 10 being something serious like him abusing you or cheating. Where does your fight fit in on the scale?

Second:

If you think your problem can be worked out with some time and understanding, then give both of you a chance to cool off.

There’s no point in trying to work things out when you’re both angry and tempers are flaring. That will only result in another argument with lots of regrets.

Go for a walk, go exercise, just do anything that will give you some time to think rationally about the situation without doing something on a whim that you might later regret.

Third:

Next, try to approach the problem from his point of view. Do you think he purposefully did anything malicious to hurt you? Or was it a simple misunderstanding?

A lot of times, understanding and really considering his reality can change your whole perspective and melt away feelings of anger and resentment.

Most people are motivated by positive intentions. Chances are he wasn’t trying to hurt you. It’s just that the lines of communication got crossed.

Fourth:

The fourth thing to do is to talk to him calmly.

Let him talk first and try to understand his side of the story and then you tell your side. After that, try to think of a solution to the problem.

Do you think he could wear a watch so that he’ll remember your date or maybe you can call him an hour before you guys meet to remind him about the date?

Remember that nobody’s perfect and everybody makes mistakes sometimes. There is no problem that cannot be resolved so find the solution to your problem.

Once you two have found some agreeable way to solve the problem, it’s time to forgive and forget. If you need to, gracefully apologize to your boyfriend. After all, if you’re really going to make this relationship work, you need to let go of past arguments and learn to love your partner for who they are.

Remember that finding solution when you have a fight with your boyfriend can strengthen your relationship. The important thing is that both of you learn from that fight and learn to forgive each other.

 

5signals

Relationship-Books

joinesp