I know a lot of people have been wondering does the No Contact Rule works to get your ex back.
I completely understand the question. No Contact can seem like the most counter-intuitive thing there is.
So, I made this video for you explaining my thoughts:
Continue reading “Does the No Contact Rule Work to Get Your Ex Back?”
Sometimes someone will tell me something like “My ex girlfriend hates me, how can I get her back when she really hates my guts?” It’s not uncommon for a lot of ex’s to really hate their old partner after a break up. After all resentment is one of the biggest reasons why people break up. I’d be willing to bed that the resentment reached a boiling point before the break up (didn’t it?).
First, of all, don’t feel bad, my ex girlfriend hates me too!
In fact, she hated me after each of the times we broke up.
But does that mean that you can’t get back together with ex girlfriend if she hates you?
Continue reading “Q: My Ex Girlfriend Hates Me, What Can I Do?”
So you’ve been using the No Contact Rule for a while now and you’re ready to break it. But how do you get your ex back after No Contact? Here is a breakdown of the next few steps to getting back together after a break up.
How to Get Your Ex Back After No Contact:
First, Make Contact
Get back in touch with your ex by sending them an email or message telling them that it’s been a while since you two talked (you have been doing No Contact, right? …Right!?).
They should be receptive to this if you haven’t seen them in a month or so. Try to avoid too much small talk and transition to asking them out to meet you in person. After all, you don’t want to tell them everything you’ve been up to now and leave nothing to talk about when you see them in person.
Second, Set Up a Meeting
The next logical step to get your ex back after No Contact is to meet up with them. If your ex girlfriend wants to meet up, then that’s fine, but if they don’t contact you first, suggest that the two of you meet for a cup of coffee or something else that is very low-pressure with little commitment.
If you pick something like a fancy dinner, it might make them more hesitant since if the two of you get into a fight, they may have to wait an hour or longer for the waiter to bring the check.
Keep things easy for both of you by picking something low-pressure like coffee or ice cream.
I’ve been there myself. Those days when it all just seems so dark and hopeless after a break up. You just feel so completely powerless over your situation. You miss your ex girlfriend so much and it seems like your entire happiness is in her hands and completely out of your control.
Here are a few questions I get from guys going through the “dark night of the soul” after a break up.
Q: I miss my ex girlfriend so much, what can I do to make the pain go away?
A: I know what it’s like to sit at home on a Friday night by yourself feeling lousy and wanting nothing more than to just have her back in your arms. It hurts. It really does.
So, know that what I’m saying here is from personal experience.
If you want to feel better about yourself, you need to stop looking outside of yourself for your happiness and start finding happiness that comes from within. This might sound like some feel-good nonsense, but you have to understand that as long as you define happiness by something outside of you, you surrender control of your life to that other thing (in this case, your ex girlfriend).
If instead, you can find joy in your own life and in the positive things that you do have going for you. Focus on what you are grateful for and the good things in your life like your friends, your job (those are pretty rare these days), or your health.
Q: Is there anything I can do to get her back? I miss my ex girlfriend so much and I just want her to love me again.
A: Yeah, I wrote a guide on how to get your ex girlfriend back. It really lays out the basic steps to get started.
Dude, your ex girlfriend wants to meet up with you? If you’ve been working at getting back a girlfriend, this can seem like an absolute miracle.
What should you do and how should you prepare for this first meeting after your break up?
Here are a few things to consider when your ex girlfriend wants to meet up:
The first thing you need to do is pick the right location.
Now, women usually aren’t the kind to take the lead in dating, so she probably left it on you to pick the place. If your ex girlfriend wants to meet up and you haven’t seen her in a while, you want to pick a place that sends the right message.
Namely, a place that makes you look good, like you’re the classy sort of guy who “knows places” in town.
I would recommend a local independent coffee shop. Preferably one with some nice character and ambiance. Avoid chain places that have the atmosphere of a cookie cutter, sanitized fast food restaurant.
If you need to go hunting for some cool places until you find one that feels right.
Avoid high action dates like bowling, or impersonal dates like going to see a movie. You want the focus of the date to be on giving the two of you a chance to reconnect and talk, not on how thrilling it was to get that turkey on the bowling alley or CG effects on that scene where the guy cuts off the other guys head with a sword.
Rule of Thumb: Boring is better